Saturday, January 31, 2009

A Year in Music - A Useless Exercise That Made Me Slightly Crabby

I found this exercise somewhat unpleasant, but once I had invested over three hours I had to keep going. It's clear in looking over my list that I invest in certain artists and stick with them. I have my obsessions, there is no doubt. Some years it was a stretch finding something. In 2006, for instance, I was losing interest in music and didn't find anything released that year that I actually loved that year; so I inserted a 2006 release that I didn't hear until 2008. However, for some years I have listed two, three, even four things because I couldn't nail it down. It's my list and I'll do what I want.

So, you know the drill. A significant album (or more) for every year of your life. Obviously, you didn't have to listen to them in the release year, particularly in those early years, though mine are pretty much accurate after 1975 or so.

1963: Please Please Me - The Beatles
1964: A Hard Day’s Night - The Beatles
1965: Beatles ’65 - The Beatles/Rubber Soul -The Beatles/Bringin’ It All Back Home - Bob Dylan
1966: Revolver - The Beatles
1967: Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits - Bob Dylan
1968: The Beatles - The Beatles
1969: Tommy - The Who
1970: Let It Be - The Beatles/New Morning - Bob Dylan
1971: Every Picture Tells a Story - Rod Stewart/Greatest Hits Vol. 2 - Bob Dylan/Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy - The Who/Ram - Paul McCartney
1972: Honky Chateau - Elton John
1973: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John
1974: Planet Waves - Bob Dylan
1975: The Who By Numbers - The Who
1976: Desire - Bob Dylan
1977: Never Mind the Bollocks…- The Sex Pistols
1978: The Last Waltz - The Band/Street Legal – Bob Dylan
1979: Eat to the Beat - Blondie/George Harrison - George Harrison
1980: Psychedelic Furs - Psychedelic Furs
1981: Talk Talk Talk - Psychedelic Furs
1982: English Settlement - XTC
1983: Murmur - REM
1984: Let It Be - The Replacements/All Over the Place - The Bangles/Reckoning - REM
1985: Suzanne Vega - Suzanne Vega/Tim - The Replacements
1986: Atomizer - Big Black/Lifes Rich Pageant - REM
1987: Pleased to Meet Me - The Replacements/Document - REM
1988: Green - REM/Eight Legged Groove Machine - The Wonder Stuff
1989: Hup - The Wonder Stuff/This is the Hour…This is the Day…This is This! - Pop Will Eat Itself/Pretty Hate Machine - Nine Inch Nails
1990: Bellybutton - Jellyfish
1991: Doubt - Jesus Jones/Nevermind - Nirvana/Godfodder - Ned’s Atomic Dustbin
1992: Comfort - Failure/Congregation - The Afghan Whigs/Dry - PJ Harvey
1993: Spilt Milk - Jellyfish
1994: Diary - Sunny Day Real Estate
1995: Sunny Day Real Estate - Sunny Day Real Estate
1996: Trailer Park - Beth Orton
1997: OK Computer - Radiohead
1998: Rufus Wainwright - Rufus Wainwright/How It Feels to Be Something On – Sunny Day Real Estate
1999: Magnolia S/T - Aimee Mann
2000: Bachelor No. 2 - Aimee Mann/Stories from the City Stories from the Sea - PJ Harvey/Teddy Thompson - Teddy Thompson
2001 : Asleep in the Back - Elbow
2002: When I Was Cruel - Elvis Costello
2003: Cast of Thousands - Elbow/Want One - Rufus Wainwright
2004: The Delivery Man - Elvis Costello
2005: Leaders of the Free World - Elbow/Twin Cinema - New Pornographers/Separate Ways - Teddy Thompson
2006: Black Holes and Revelations - Muse
2007: Release the Stars - Rufus Wainwright/In Rainbows - Radiohead
2008: Loyalty to Loyalty - Cold War Kids/The Seldom Seen Kid - Elbow

Friday, January 30, 2009

A bunch of stuff including a big dose of gratitude

A caveat: Blogger was not cooperating last night when I tried to post this. Apparently my paintings had too many pixels and they refused to load. Or something. Seriously, I wasn't going to let two days go by without posting. However, I have already found the thing that made me happy today (see way down below) so we get three days in one!

OK, so I'm not writing everyday. Sometimes having a good day means not stopping it to blog about it. I will say that this week has been a very good one. It has flown by (not necessarily a good thing, I guess), my considerable carnal needs have been met in various ways (always an indicator of a good week), I got some painting done today and I am this many days closer to hearing about my Naughti Gras submission.

Also on tap today was creating my version of the Bacon Explosion, a pork-centric roll of bacon and sausage also known as a sausage fatty. The process is as follows:

So yeah, bacon wrapped in sausage, wrapped in bacon. It was pretty damn good and really didn't seem all that fatty.

This evening I painted a little with acrylics rather than watercolors. It was an interesting experiment and I'd definitely like to do more and see what happens.

First I explored my lonely building theme, which started with the idea of the yellow sun and the swirly blue sky around it. It seems clear to me that I am heavily influenced by, yet again, mid-century modern and the illustration styles from that period (though I don't suppose that that is the official art term for it, it is from that time frame). I'm too lazy to do it now (and this post is going to be big enough I'm sure), but I will soon look for some examples from among my children's books that exemplify what I mean.

Then I decided to do one of the skinny cats. Working with acrylics is so different and I was painting on paper which doesn't necessarily do it justice. I think I'm still figuring out which brushes to use as well. It makes a big difference.

I love hearts. I don't know why except that I like the curves and the shape and I, of course, love what they symbolise.

Last night was the third episode of the last season of Battlestar Galactica and it was the best yet. Overwhelming, shocking, completely frakking amazing. It had me shouting at the TV -- pleading, cursing, encouraging. But that is all I'll say so as not to be a spoiler for anyone.

This morning I woke and turned the radio on to Weekend Edition Saturday on NPR as I always do. I was happy to catch a fabulous interview with Liza Minnelli about her new Broadway show. Liza was maligned by that unfortunate reality show with the hideous man she married and that took the focus away from the fact that she's a gifted singer and performer. Though it probably didn't help with a mainstream audience, her stint on the late, great "Arrested Development" reminded a lot of people of her comedic gifts and her fortitude as a celebrity who haLinks had her share of misfortune. This interview was funny and moving and the song snippets were just great (the interview won't be posted on the NPR site until after noon EST today). Oh, and her cameo on Saturday Night Live a couple weeks ago, in a Penelope sketch, was delightfully daffy and adorable. I love Liza Minnelli!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's a cashmeracle!

I am well aware that I neglected to write yesterday. It was not because it was a bad day or even a neutral day. It was a perfectly good day (despite the fact that the satellite dish people never showed up or called to cancel - seriously, three inches of snow stops everything?) but I didn't get a chance to post and then I opted to go to bed at the same time as Steve so I didn't keep him up too long or disturb his sleep with my light. So, it was a very good thing to go to sleep spooning him with Mr. Baby spooning me.

Another good thing was the Martini Chicken I made for dinner. Boneless chicken breast sauteed with gin, vermouth and olives! Genius!

Today we woke to many more inches of stupid snow. The only good thing about it is that it's not the usual kind of snow we get here. Rather than the heavy, wet stuff, this is again the very dry, very light fluffy variety. I shoveled our walk in just a few minutes, nearly effortlessly. Whole shovelfuls weighed nothing and were easy to toss to the side. If I was a completely different person, sledding or skiing in this stuff might have actually been fun. But I'm not so I did neither. Tomorrow I may need to dig my car out and drive, just because.

Weeks ago I bought an ugly men's mock neck gray sweater at a thrift store for a couple bucks. Since it was cashmere and in perfect shape so it was worth having for the fabric alone. I had intended to felt it and make it into a cardigan but I kept putting off washing it. It was so soft and felting would spoil that.

Today I decided to forego the felting and simply convert the icky mock neck into a nice pullover for me. This is what I started with:

First I cut off the ribbing at the next and added a little slit right in front. Next I removed the band of (overly tight) ribbing at the bottom and finally I got rid of the ribbed cufffs, leaving me with this:

It's already much improved, right? Finally, I added a turquoise blanket stitch around all the raw edges.

And now I have a cute, comfy, slightly oversized cashmere tunic. I'm debating the addition of some other embroidery -- perhaps a leafy vine and simple flowers? But simple may be better.

Otherwise, life is good. My desires were exceeded in various ways, putting me into a bit of a satisfied haze. I'm a lucky, lucky, LUCKY girl.

Ooooh, and I discovered two new bands: Modern Skirts and Sounds Under Radio. Considering I just pulled them off the New shelf at the station, which is always a crap shoot, it was surprising to find two in one week that I actually really liked.

Tomorrow I vow to draw and paint. And I will hazard a hope that I hear from the Naughti Gras people early.

Monday, January 26, 2009

D.A. - Monday, January 26, 2009

My first little rush of pleasure today came when I started cleaning the snow off my car in the dark of 6:30am. Much to my surprise, the snow was that lovely fluffy and dry stuff -- powder it's called, right? -- it just swept right off the car.

I got a good deal of pleasure today from a caller to my show who had called last week as well to inquire about the Cold War Kids. Last week I told him their newest was my favorite album of the year. Today he told me he went out and bought it and on the first listen he wasn't convinced, but that after a couple more times through he was converted. I love that! And I've had some really nice comments lately about my mix of music -- old and new, familiar and not. It's satisfying to know I'm not playing into a void.

And this evening Facebook was a source of goodness yet again. It is current fashion to post notes containing 25 random facts about yourself and Steve wrote his own today. It contained two really sweet items about me and I was reminded, again, of just how lucky I am.

As always, I am extremely grateful for the daily contact I have with my friends and loved ones. I go on about how I would be happy never to leave my house but that is only with the giant caveat that I would still have the Internet to stay in constant touch with everyone I care about.

It is snowing like crazy as I write this and the only reason I don't care is that Steve is off tomorrow and neither of us has to drive in it. Really, though, I am over snow. I'd be perfectly happy never seeing it again. Yes, that silence of a snow-covered night is lovely, but I would trade it for a sweltering, insect-buzzing summer midnight in a second.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Sunday, January 25, 2009

The art is finished and photos have been submitted. Yikes, now I'm really nervous. And because I often speak before thinking, now I realize that I probably shouldn't have talked about it at all before I knew whether I was accepted or not. Oh well, you will all (all three of you) share in my chagrin if I don't get in.

Having said that, I'm happy that I decided to submit and even happier that I completed three pieces for the show. Send out happy thoughts to the art gods for me, will ya?

Because I didn't have to go outside all day, I can still be rather delighted by the snow.

Tomorrow morning at 6:30a when I'm removing all this snow from my car so I can get to KDHX? I suspect I won't be so delighted.

The pristine front steps (well, as pristine as our steps can ever be!).

It is lovely, but it is COLD. Really frakking cold.

And speaking of frakking, Battlestar Galactic marches on. I wasn't as thrilled by this week's episode, but it is clear we are moving towards something really good.

You don't love me yet...

I've just finished reading "You Don't Love Me Yet" by Jonathan Lethem for the fifth or sixth time. Even after all these reading, I'm not sure I can put my finger on just why I love it so much. But in the character of Lucinda Hoekke, Lethem has captured a woman who I can relate to, though I'm not really proud of that. Lucinda is somewhat aimless, impulsive and prone to intense and sometimes short-lived sexual obsessions. She's flawed, but compelling and fully formed, though Lethem never even gives a physical description more specific than what she's wearing.

Lucinda is the bass player for an unnamed band that has never gotten beyond the living room practice space of their drummer, Denise (the other female character who remains undescribed). Taking a job at her former lover's art gallery, Lucinda begins receiving complaint calls as part of the gallery owner's latest installation. Soon enough, her time is taken by one caller who talks of his own sexual obsessions, dropping carefully casual catch phrases as a habit. An early conversation is the genesis for the band's breakthrough song, "Monster Eyes," and several others, all based on the Complainers rambling. Soon enough Lucinda and the Complainer meet and fall into an all encompassing affair of roundabout conversations and fucking. And soon after that, the Complainer insinuates himself into the band, taking credit, rightly, for the the bulk of their new (and admittedly better) songs.

When confronted by Denise as to his motives in joining the band, the Complainer (Carl) replies:

"I want what we all want," said Carl. "To move certain parts of the interior of myself into the external world, to see if they can be embraced."

And perhaps it's that line that explains why I love this book so much. And why I love Jonathan Lethem. I was never able to articulate it that succinctly or beautifully, but that's it -- that line was a eureka moment when I read it. I had mental equivalent of pumping a fist into the air - "Yes! That's it!" - when I read it.
I'm well aware that I missed yesterday's asserveration. Let me just say that I got much further along on my artwork for my submission to Naughti Gras, and that is a very good thing. Particularly since the submission guideline is tonight at midnight. So that was a happy thing. Keep your fingers crossed for me. My first submission to a fine art event - I'm a little terrified. I won't show the work here until I find out whether I'm accepted or not.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Daily Asserveraton - Friday, January 23, 2009

Today was a lovely day. I woke up happy, I had an exceptional chat with my Scottish Correspondent, some amusements on Facebook, and I got a lot of work done on my paintings.

Speaking of Facebook, I got a message there from my old friend Mark, who was once my roommate. When we lived together, one Monday morning he came to my room before I got up and suggested that we take a road trip to Albuquerque, NM. I had to work that week so I wasn't too keen on the idea. But it got under my skin and when my boss got in that morning I asked her if I could leave that day *and* take off the rest of the week. Because she was the best boss in the world, she said yes. I hightailed it home, packed some stuff up, got a pet sitter and Mark and I hit the road in the Fragile Porcelain Mice van.

It was an interesting trip, not always light fun, but I don't regret going. New Mexico was gorgeous (the stars you can see in their night sky was worth the whole trip) and seeing the Acoma cliff dwellings is something I will never forget -- the oldest continually inhabited dwellings in the United States. While we were there, on Route 66, we discovered a tattoo shop and decided to commemorate the trip. On the Acoma reservation, we found a jewelry artist with some fantastic designs. He agreed to sell us a couple of his design drawings and we hastened to the parlor to get inked. Anyway, I had no recollection of keeping the paper design, and making that's because I didn't. In Mark's email, he attached a scan of the design. Apparently he had had it all this time. It was nice to see the design with all its sharp lines and designs -- it's gotten a little blurry over the last 15 years.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Thursday, January 22, 2009

Today was the first day since Saturday where I felt completely normal, back to my regular self. Not only did I not burst into tears today, I didn't even get teary. Not once! The mere absence of something bad isn't necessarily to be celebrated, however.

I'm planning to submit a piece to an art show and this evening I finally got a fairly clear idea of what I'm want to do. Which is a good thing since the submission deadline is Sunday at midnight. Now I can just hope that I will be able to pull off my vision - in the next three days. Hey, why not?

Daily Asserveration - Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hell's bells, I forgot to post yesterday, which probably means it was more of a neutral day. Which, coming off three days of hormonal lunacy, is not a bad thing.

It was a day to be grateful for the people in my life. No big declarations, no significant events, just an enforcement of the knowledge that I have people in my life whom I care about and who care about me. Even when I'm a lunatic.

That's enough for me for one day.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ok, I'm late posting this and while my main source of positivity yesterday happened to the entire world (and I think you know what I mean), it was personally a darker day than I would have liked. After some serious wallowing and questioning of my own sanity, things settled down a bit and I managed to push myself over to the positive side. Forgiveness and understanding are my friends.

We were tentatively planning on attending an inauguration party last night, but as I dread parties in the best of times, I asked to switch out our plans for finally seeing Slumdog Millionaire. So happy I did! What a great movie. Plus the cute girl at the concession stand was a fan of our radio shows and it's never a bad thing to hear a compliment.

And then, just to squeeze out another little bit of happiness, we watched the lastest episode of "Fringe," a show that has my favorite character on TV - the absolutely wonderful Walter Bishop. Walter has the best quotes and non sequiturs ever. I will just say, "You are like a question machine!" Every episode gives me at least one opportunity to exclaim, "God, I LOVE Walter!" Ask Steve, he'll confirm.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Monday, January 19, 2009

It's a good thing that some nice stuff happened early in the day because things kind of took a downward slide toward the evening. But that's not what these posts are for. I'll save that for a separate entry.

This morning I had what I considered to be a very successful radio show. My musical choices flowed well, there were few and minor technical errors, only one weird caller, and my Scottish Correspondent had some time to chat.

On my way home, after a stop at the grocery store (where I did encounter an empty checkout line manned by the fastest checker I've ever had, another good thing), I spotted a big, fat mockingbird landing on a trash bin. He jutted his perfectly gorgeous, perfectly taupe breast out and offered himself up for my admiration. I stopped my car to look at him longer, he caught my eye, and flew away. Still, it was an ideal little moment.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Sunday, January 18, 2009

This is the first day since I started that I didn't immediately have something in mind. I didn't have the best day today - I was vaguely (or not so vaguely) anxious much of the time, resulting in me being on less than my best behavior.

But just a few minutes ago, I got an email notification that someone had written on my wall. In fact, it was Mo Ryan, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune who is a big Battlestar Galactica fan. She wrote a fabulous column on the season 4.5 premiere that included some fantastic inside information and I told her so on her Facebook wall (yes, I am a BSG geek so much so that I am FB friends with two journalists who love it too). So, it pleased me to no end that Mo wrote back on my wall. Woo hoo! BSG geeks unite.

Oh, and I had fried shrimp and ice cream today. That wasn't so bad either.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Saturday, January 17, 2009

Because I am still basking in the glow of a mind-blowing, chill-inducing, tear-jerking (in the best way) fan-frakking-tastic episode of Battlestar Galactica, that's going first on the list today. Wow. So good.

Second, a new book I requested from public library came in. Disquiet by Julia Leigh promises to be haunting and memorable. As if the book itself wasn't enough, I opened it to the title page and encountered this perfect bit of design and type. A breathless little "Oh!" escaped my lips when I saw this.

And, a few pages in, the book is shaping up to be great.

It made me happy when Steve wanted to take a photo of Lydia, me and the laptops as we all sat on the couch together.

And last, but not least, I successfully made chicken tikka masala tonight -- it was good!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Friday, January 16, 2009

Without even seeing it, I have no doubt in the world that tonight's episode of Battlestar Galactica, the first of Season 4.5, is the thing that will make me happiest today. It marks the beginning of the end of this fabulous series, the best TV show ever and, in my opinion, better than most movies. Making it even better is that BSG converts Dana and Roy will be watching with us. Fun will be had!

But also on the list today is snuggling with Mr. Baby and Spidermonkey before I got out of bed this morning. They were both particularly snugglicious.

I do wish it weren't so frakking cold outside, but at least it's warm inside.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Drawering and painting

A couple years ago, Steve bought a stash of journals at an estate sale. They dated from the mid to late 1920s and were written by a teenage girl who lived around Bowling Green, MO. He read them all cover to cover and I remember his constant reports on her activities (she wrote nearly every day). This sounds so odd now, but she went to town nearly every night to go to the movies - a different couple of movies every day. She went on lots of dates, attended a lot of church activities and dances and, in general, seemed to have very little down time.

At some point recently I got the idea that I'd like to try drawing and painting on the pages. Normally I don't like desecrating vintage items, but I was compelled. Here're the results of my first attempt.

Jealous Again - watercolor/pencil on paper

Red Siamese - watercolor/pencil on paper.

Daily Asserveration - Thursday, January 15, 2008

Look it up. It's a real word.

Today Deb treated me to lunch and wine and if that's not enough to make any day better, I don't know what is. She was celebrating a new chapter in her life in the form of a great new job and I wish her the best and know she's going to excel at it.

And even though it was blood-freezingly cold outside, it was beautifully bright and sunny with nary a hint of snow or ice in the air. (Sorry all y'all wishing for snow - I can't get behind that.) Now it is dark and really fucking cold in house -- I think there's only so much walls and windows and doors can do to keep out 10 degree winds. All the better for snuggling.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Today I have three things that particularly pleased me. The first is that I woke to find video recordings of band practices from 1995 posted on Facebook by our old friend (and Steve's former co-worker) Chris. The band was the Pelvic Marvels, which were resurrected from the first incarnation in the 80s. It was a hoot, holding those practices, and we had a great time. And, most importantly, they were a catalyst to Steve and I thinking of each other that way.

Second was that on some days the machines like me very much. Or at least they are willing to cooperate with me. How much do I love Skype and VOIP? A lot! I can talk to my Scottish Correspondent, halfway around the world, for free, and it sounds like he is just down the street. Actually, the connection is better than most local cell phone calls.

Third was that I had the urge to draw and paint and I did it and I'm moderately happy with the results. So, basically, I'm really happy to be moderately happy in this case. Got it? Good. Here's what I ended up with today.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Daily Asserveration - Tuesday, January 13, 2009

This morning at 9am I sent a text to Michael with a request to meet me at 6 North for a day of laptop assholery. To my delight, he said yes and an hour or so later we were ensconced in our usual chairs and chatting away. I haven't seen Michael much lately and I've missed the camaraderie and connection we have. It was a calming pleasure to spend a few hours with him today.

And that made me happy.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Daily Asseveration - Monday, January 12, 2009

Because I've noticed a good bit of useless negativity floating around on teh Intarweb, and since I'm not immune from contributing to that myself from time to time (why is it always so easy to spew when you're pissed off but not when you're happy?), I have decreed that starting today I will write about anything good, anything funny, anything sweet, or just anything that made me feel good, every day. Every single day.

More than one for today! My car was covered in beautiful, glittery ice this morning. It sparkled like diamonds in the streetlights. During the radio show, the segue between Gene Krupa and LL Cool J made me giggle because it really worked like I had hoped it would. Steve took the time to send me a sweet, complimentary email. Roy called and was despondent over the plot of Battlestar Galactica; while I'm not happy that Roy is despondent, I am happy I convinced him to give BSG a chance. Oh, and he said the show was rocking. My Scottish Correspondent was monitoring my playlist in England and managed a couple minutes to chat too. A listener loved a Cold War Kids song I was playing (and since I love CWK more than anything right now, that made me very happy). I watched the last two Battlestar Galactica webisodes and they left me speechless and stunned. Is it possible the last few episodes of this fantastic show will be so good that we won't be suicidal when it's over for good?

You’re reading my thoughts/Dreams old men dream/It’s just like when we were kids/We’d lay around wondering/We try to listen to what they said

Today is the day that I decree that I will write an entry, even if it's small, every day about something that makes me happy. This doesn't mean there won't also be the usual moaning and whining entries. I mean, come on, I'm human. And since I've gone days and days without writing anything, this one may just have several things.

A week ago today, water got spilled on my beloved laptop, my machine-child (or maybe machine-lover is more appropriate) as I like to call it. After sputtering for a few seconds, the screen went black and a giant lump formed in my gut. I took the battery out and removed the keyboard and I swear there wasn't more than about three drops that I could see. Needless to say, it was enough to, at least so far, render my hard drive useless and irretrievable. I spent a lot of the next two days crying, mourning the loss of all my photos and Photoshop files and everything else I had neglected to ever (yes, you heard me) back up. Yes, I learned my lesson and I now have an online back up service. And the thing to be happy about in this tragedy? Roy Kasten. The man who created my beloved laptop did everything he could to save it and still even holds out a bit of hope for recovering the data on that hard drive. In the meantime, I have a new bigger and faster hard drive and that can't be a bad thing.

Something else that made me happy is this loaf of cranberry-walnut beer bread. It was really good and it looks so pretty!

I'm happy to have seen pictures of Jennifer Tretter's ginger cat BitBit. Look at that face!

On Saturday Steve and I DJed at the Atomic Cowboy. While I neglected to take photos while our friends were there (thanks for coming Roy and Dana, Amy and Sebastian, Michael and Alex!), I did take some blurry, glowy inside photos of the place. I love the mid-century modern look of the lounge area of Atomic cowboy. It's a comfy space.

That's Steve there at the bar...

And here we are getting ready to leave the house.

I'm happy that by some miracle I can look at photos of myself and...well, and nothing. I'm happy I can look at photos of myself and be, dare I say it, happy with what looks back at me. Now, I don't think I've gotten any better looking, but something inside me has shifted and there is some new acceptance that I haven't had in a long time, if ever. So, yay!