Sunday, December 9, 2007

But I can't help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling if I just turn and run

Wow. I was having a serious bad day when I wrote that last entry. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I reacted so strongly to the causative events. Thank goodness things seemed much better by the next day and have remained so. Some day work will settle into being completely routine. It's not there yet, but surely it will happen, right? Does routine ever exist in retail? I have no idea.

So in the last week I struggled very much with the idea of making jewelry for Ziezo. In general I haven't felt very inspired these last several weeks. The pressure of making something cool enough for that store on top of the stress I felt over not having any good ideas topped out about mid-week. I wasn't feeling my most confident and I pretty much let my fear of being criticized make the decision that perhaps this wasn't the best time for me to try for a consignment deal at there. I didn't feel great about the decision (I don't enjoy being so thin-skinned), but there was a certain amount of relief.

Pair that with going to the Rock and Roll Craft Show VIP party (thanks, Dana, for making me your date for the evening!) on Friday night and whatever creative genes I have are hanging their little DNA heads low. I opted to not participate in RnRCS this year because I just didn't, again, feel inspired to crank out that much stuff. Was that a mistake? Last year I was a top 5 seller and this year walking around and looking at all the great stuff and not seeing any of my things made me feel a little regretful and kind of sad. Ah well, I never dwell long on regrets as it's a useless waste of energy, so I'm getting over it. I really can't imagine when I would have had time to do enough for the show anyway.

Today I woke up with energy to do some cleaning and rearranging. We traded the huge futon in the living room with the mid-century sectional piece upstairs and I'm so happy we did it. I cleaned up the upstairs sitting room, finally took all my craft show junk out of the front foyer (suddenly our downstairs has basically gained a room), AND, most importantly, put up our silver Christmas tree. We haven't bothered with a tree the last couple of years and I really missed it, I guess. Oh and I did the laundry and dyed my hair brown. Not bad for a day.

I've decided to start chronicling what I cook. Tonight for dinner: Roasted pork "country ribs" slathered in steak marinade. Roasted sweet potato chunks with olive oil and parmesan cheese. Green beans with a sauce of butter, shallots, balsamic vinegar and a pinch of sugar.

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