Tuesday, June 10, 2008

He's so mercifully free of the pressures of grace/Saint Peter in satin, he's like Buddha with mace

No, I know I won't forget you/But I'll forget myself, if the city will forgive me

Wow, how has a week gotten past me without writing? Because I'm actually doing things other than staring at my computer screen or the television? Well, not a whole lot more, but some.

I forgot to mention that last Tuesday I went to see "Sex and the City" with Michael at the matinee. As I suspected, I loved it. I'm slightly ashamed that I've seen every single episode of the TV series and that I'm intimately familiar with all the plot points. I'm a Big girl all the way (Aidan...bleh. Berger...eh. Aleksander...better.) and I lust after Christopher Noth so I was looking forward to the big screen version. I laughed, I cried (rather a lot), I gasped when Big pushed Carrie up against that brick pillar whilst kissing her. Sigh. It was fun; not great art, but it didn't need to be.

Steve and I had the day off on Thursday and we spent the morning running errands and the rest of the day just hanging. I spent some time online with TRex celebrating his birthday; I think he was a little sad about another year passing. While I haven't always been overjoyed to see the birthday numbers piling up, I really try not to sweat the age thing myself. I'm the same person inside, no matter my age. This is where not having big plans for the future pays off -- how can I be a failure if there are no set goals to miss or not?
A rickety structure perhaps, but it works for me. At any rate, after being continually feted by his office mates on Friday, TRex seemed to have gained a level of happy acceptance and I was glad to see it.

Have I talked about the energy supplement I was drinking? After a couple weeks of having it every day, I was feeling fine, but my period was eluding me. I'm a regular gal and it was a bit worrisome. Not only that, but it seemed my sex drive was severely curtailed. I felt happy and energetic, but not at all sexual. Now, that's not a trade off I think I want to make. Happily, our store ran out of the supplements and I was forced to get off the juice anyway. A week and a half or so later and my sex drive returned full force (and my period a couple days later). Having several hours to kill on Friday evening, I began to explore Xtube.com, a video/photo hosting site of the prurient kind, on the recommendation of Michael and Steve (I believe they might have high fived at the bar one night, exclaiming, "Xtube!"). A little while later, I was fully engaged, enjoying myself and becoming a member and amassing some new friends (most of them with really big...amenities...who knew I was a size queen?). Just so you know, poeple make a LOT of videos of themselves doing a lot of things. Some things I really enjoy watching, some not so much. Take, for instance, the guy who dons really tight, unattractive pants and pees in them. Or the guy who pops his junk out a hole in his pants and has a woman squeeze his balls really, really tight, like a balloon, and then punch them hard. That one made me wince. At any rate, I have my groove back.

I worked early Saturday and Sunday and as I left on Sunday, Michael and I planned on meeting up Sunday evening for something to eat and drinks with Steve. After searching the Intarnet for possible locales, we picked Novak's. I wanted to sit outside and I knew they had a nice patio. It was okay; the crowd was sparse, the food was just okay and the drinks weren't going down all that well. Then Michael pulled out a five page blog post his Minneapolis friend wrote after Michael's visit there. It was a very detailed, very intimate account of their time together. I must admit it was difficult for me to read, right there in front of him. Steve was amazed, having never seen me flummoxed over anything sexual, and generally I am unshakeable and infinitely interested in all things sexual. This was different. Maybe if Michael himself had written it, it would have been different. Since it was written about Michael, thus distancing him, and me, a little from it, I felt very voyeuristic. And I'm not much of a voyeur. Oh, and I adore written gay porn; it generally works better for me than the hetero stuff for whatever reason. So feeling, sort of against my will, turned on by a story about my friend made me uncomfortable. It didn't seem right, nor fair (that's the Scorpio in me talking) because Michael will never reciprocate those feeings. Ridiculous, I know, to feel that way, but it was there and I do at least try to be honest about my feelings. I will re-read, alone, some time soon.

Eventually we moved on from the blog and Novak's and headed across the street to Just John. It's a plush and very large bar, but we opted for the more intimate, and rather deserted, patio. Out there we saw a semi-regular customer and one of the best drag queens I've ever laid eyes on. Don't think I would have even suspected had I seen her walking down the street. We didn't stay too long as I had gotten up very early to work that day.

Monday's work day started with some frustration; not unexpected but not welcomed. I got over that and went about my business. I knew I was closing with Michael and that we'd probably meet up with Steve and do some more drinking afterwards, so all was well. As is usual, Michael and I bickered and argued and teased and hugged throughout the evening. I'm sure everyone else at our store is quite over us. Jealous much, people? : ) Michael had been fretting over his Minneapolis friend's weekend with another guy and I offered what I could to put things into perspective and to make him feel better. I get very protective of my friends; I will not accept unworthy behavior from their romantic partners. The people I love and care about deserve only the best. We ended up at the Loading Zone for a few drinks. It was nearly empty and the song/video selection is getting a little repetitious, but it was cheap and the bartender was okay. We decided to head down to SubZero for one last round and some veggie tempura and that place was pretty deserted too. At one point Michael pointed out that we were the closing time assholes we hate at our store so we hastened to get out of their hair. Well, maybe not as fast as they would have liked. Sorry, nice people of SubZero!

Today, a lazy day off. I got up late and have done nothing but cruise the Intarnet, talk on the phone and watch TV. Most of that from the sun-dappled confines of my deck. Perhaps it's time to break out the Xtube...

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